Misfortune
by Songstone
Summary: Sasori muses over his bad luck with partners and admits that Deidara is as close to the best thing he could get. -Warning for brain breakage and disturbing images of Orochimaru-


**Misfortune**

**A story by Songstone**

**Songstone: I have no comments here. XD Just read and I hope you enjoy. XD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

"Why is it that _I'm_ always stuck with female partners?" Sasori made a noise similar to a sigh to express his misfortune before shaking his head. "They're always so..._messy_..."

Deidara, who was currently seated underneath the hot rain of the shower-head, pouted and stuck her head around the shower cutain of the bathtub. "Well, excuse me for menstruating, un!" She hissed in what was typical irritated fashion for that time of the month.

The redhead merely snorted and rolled his eyes from outside of the shower. He was seated on the ground against the sink and was watching his partner's silhouette as she went back to bathing.

"And what are you talking about, un?" Deidara asked a few moments later. Her shadow moved and Sasori saw how she was scrubbing at her hair with both hands, cleaning off the fair locks. "I'm the only female partner you've had."

"No you aren't." Sasori contradicted simply while gathering up the blonde's dirty clothes from the ground. Her pants were stained with dark menstrual blood, but the puppeteer seemed unphased as he tossed the garments into their bag of dirty clothes.

A few moments passed, in which Deidara rinsed her hair free from all of the shampoo she had put in it, and then the blonde poked her head from around the shower curtain once again. "How can you have had another female partner? Orochimaru was the only other partner you've had, un." She reminded, her thin brow furrowed in confusion.

"Exactly my point, brat." The redhead nodded his head, though he frowned slightly at the mention of the Akatsuki traitor.

"But..." The blonde cocked her head to the side, bangs dripping water onto the tile floor of the motel restroom. "Orochimaru is a man, un."

For half of a second, the briefest of smirks could be seen on Sasori's face as the redhead crossed his arms. "Oh, so you believe that, too?"

"...Sasori-danna, please explain. Un." The bomber insisted curiously as she leaned against the side of the tub.

The ex-Suna-nin made another sighing sound and shrugged his shoulders. "There isn't much to explain; Orochimaru is just like you. 'He' is a she in disguise. The only difference, I suppose, is that she's a lot better at hiding her gender than you are. Mrs. 'I'll talk like all the guys in the porno movies with the deep voices to fool everyone'."

The blonde's expression twisted into anger, and she flushed a bit at Sasori's comment. "Hey, un! You said that my voice was a good cover-up!"

"Typicall that _that_ would be the only thing you got out of what I just said." The redhead gave an amused chuckle at his partner's actions.

"I heard the rest, too." Deidara insisted. She tossed back her heavy, wet hair and leaned again against the short wall of the tub once more. "I just think you're lying. Un."

Sasori snorted. "Since when do you know me to lie about anything, Deidara?" He questioned. It was too much trouble to get himself tangled up in a web of lies, and the blonde knew that well.

"But Orochimaru...he can't be a _girl_, un." The Iwa nin said after another pause on her behalf. She receeded back behind the shower curtain and slowly continued her shower.

"How are you sure? You were never partners with her. I, of all people, would know since I spent so much time around her." Sasori continued, unphased. He had never told anyone this news before. And if he thought about it from Deidara's perspective, of _course_ it seemed ridiculous.

"...How'd you find out?" Deidara questioned.

"It wasn't hard. When I wasn't in the room, she would take that opportunity to change clothes and such; and you know how well the eyes of my puppets work for me."

For the third time, a head of blonde hair peeked out from around the shower curtain. "You were _peeping_ on...her? Un." Deidara questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"I was observing. Making sure that she didn't take anything from me while I was away. I discovered a bit more than I needed to, but that's that." Sasori said simply, and with a short nod.

The water inside of the bathtub shut off and Deidara's silhouette moved to a standing position. The blonde took her towel off of the top of the curtain rod and used it to dry off a bit while still in the shower. After a moment, Deidara stepped out of the bath with the towel wrapped tightly around her chest.

"You're serious, un."

"I am."

"Hn..." Deidara nodded her head, digesting that new idea. She frowned, probably not liking the idea of being so much like Orochimaru, whom she detested. "But I'm better, right?"

"Excuse me?" Sasori quirked a brow at his partner, who now moved to seat herself on the side of the shower.

Deidara grabbed a pair of clean underwear, quickly lining the inside with a pad to keep clean while on her period, and slipped both legs inside of the holes before yanking them up onto her hips. "You know what I mean, un. I'm a better partner than Orochimaru was. Right?"

Sasori watched, unblinking as usual, as Deidara dressed herself. She didn't mind his watchful gaze; it wasn't like he could be physically aroused, and he knew not to try to start any form of intimate activity with the girl while she was menstruating. He was simply observing her movements.

He scoffed, however, at what Deidara had inquired of him and pushed himself to his feet. "That was a stupid question, brat." He told her.

"What--" Deidara was silenced when Sasori's mouth covered her own in a soft, well practiced kiss.

"That's enough of an answer for you." The redhead said, giving the top of Deidara's head a light pat. "Now get dressed and come to bed." He ordered simply, stepping outside of the restroom and into their motel room. "I'll bring you something warm to drink from the lobby."

Deidara grinned softly and nodded to Sasori's back before he stepped out of sight "Thank you Sasori-danna, un." She chirped happily before going back to dressing herself for a day of pampering from her partner.

**Songstone: DON'T. Don't ask about why I wrote this, or whatever. XD I don't know. And yes, I know that Deidara and Orochimaru are guys. Don't worry about it. But gender-bending is amusing and I couldn't resist this. XD R&R please!**


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